Archive for the ‘ Personal & Spiritual Development ’ Category

I strongly encourage you to start a habit of taking time every day to care for your “self”.

How much time do you spend on you every day?

Do you exercise regularly?

Do you meditate, pray, or make time to sit quietly and think?

You could read personal development books or listen to motivational tapes.  A long, hot shower or bath can be a good time to relax and let your thoughts wander.

The military has been your life for so many years that when you leave it you will miss it, in spite of yourself.  You will experience a sort of grieving process.  Start taking care of yourself now.  However you do it, I urge you to spend a few minutes daily with activities that nourish your spirit and feed your soul.

Check out these resources:

Loving What Is – Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie, a revolutionary new way to solve problems

Nightingale-Conant THE World Leader in motivational, self-development courses

Dr. Paul Pearsall International author and speaker, some truly thought provoking books on the science of positive psychology.  (I can recommend “Toxic Success: How to Stop Striving and Start Thriving”)

This is part of a complete step-by-step military retirement checklist. I’ll be posting weekly action steps here, so please subscribe over in the right-hand column so you’re sure to get each update.

Okay, it’s settled.  You’re leaving the service.  In order to accomplish a successful stress-free transition, you’ll want to clear some space on your calendar.  Decide now how much time you will invest in the process of creating your future.  This will be time spent primarily accomplishing the activities in this book as well as anything else you must do before you leave the service.  Can you commit a couple of hours a day or a week to your transition?  Maybe you have 30 minutes at lunch, or an hour before dinner.  It could be a couple of hours early on Saturday mornings.

No time?  You can make some by letting go of other activities temporarily.  Put aside the bowling league for a season or step down from your leadership role in the sailing club.  Now please don’t sacrifice your sanity!  If bowling gives you an outlet for stress and you enjoy spending this time with friends, keep doing it.

Ask yourself what is the most important thing in your life right now.  Which activities will move you quickly through this transition and which will slow it down?  (Your answer will depend largely on how much time you have remaining in uniform.)

This is part of a complete step-by-step military retirement checklist. I’ll be posting weekly action steps here, so please subscribe over in the right-hand column so you’re sure to get each update.

For most of my life, I made New Year’s resolutions. Made them and forgot them. And my life went along, day by day, kind of wandering without a destination. Then one New Year’s Day as I was announcing my resolutions, it hit me like a ton of bricks… what was I doing?! Where was I going? What was I doing with my life?

That day I set my first goal – to learn how to set goals. It was a long learning curve, but I persisted. And today I have settled on a process that serves me well. Because to the degree I follow it, I always achieve the goal I set. Here are my time-proven steps for achieving what you want in life:

Step 1. Keep a Master List of Lifetime Goals. I organize mine into 7 categories: Career/ Business, Finances, Health, Leisure Fun, Family/ Relationships, Personal and Spiritual Growth, and Physical Environment. For each category, I write down what I want to do before I leave this life. These are my BIG GOALS. The things that “if I could have, do, or be anything”, what are they?

Write each goal in positive “I have it now” language. For example, “I am a trim, toned 145 pounds”. Make sure your goal is quantifiable, that is, don’t simply say “I want to Iose weight”. Write your goal with as much detail as possible.

Add to your Master List as often as you like. (I have over 100 goals currently!) Periodically update your goals, making them clearer, more specific or larger. Stay flexible!

Step 2. Select Annual Goals from your Master Lifetime Goals list. Pick one or two from each category. Ask yourself “what would make this a homerun year for me if I were to achieve it?” Create a list of goals you want to achieve in the next 12 months.

Now give each goal on your 12-month list a reality check. Do you honestly believe you can achieve this goal? If not, why not? Does this goal conflict with any of your other goals? How would you feel 5, 10, 20 and 50 years from now if you never achieved this goal? Would it really matter? Having asked and answered all of these questions about your goal, do you still want this goal?

Step 3. Once you have a solid 12-Month Goals list, take each goal and break it down into broad action steps. For example, if you have a goal of Family Vacation in Hawaii, your action steps might be 1) schedule time on family and work calendars, 2) research transportation and lodging arrangements, 3) calculate budget, and 4) finalize travel arrangements. Identify any obstacles you must overcome to achieve each step. These might become action steps in themselves. Is there someone or something that stands in the way of you completing each action? What must you do to overcome them? Perhaps you need the help of a certain person or group to achieve your goal. An added action might be to contact and enlist the help of these persons. Do you need to learn a new skill to achieve your goal? What must you do to accomplish that?

When you have a fairly comprehensive list of actions, set a “no later than” completion date for each of the steps you have listed. Rearrange your goals with their actions in chronological order according to the completion dates from nearest to farthest date due.

(Okay, by now you’re saying “Kathy… you’re killing me! What is with all the LISTS?! I’m never going to do this!) It sounds cumbersome, but you only do this once a year. Hang in there for another paragraph… I promise, there’s a method to my madness.

Step 4. Now that you have broad actions identified for achieving your annual goals, break them down even further. Take each action and create a 20-minute Task List. Write down tasks that will take you no more than 20 minutes to complete. For example, under Research Transportation and Lodging Arrangements, you might list “get airfare comparison online from SideStep.com” and “check Navy Lodge website for availability”.

Once you have your 20-minute tasks, they become your “time fillers” that we all look for between meetings, phone calls, and appointments. You know, that white space in your day that you currently fill with wondering what to do or maybe catching a quick game of computer solitaire? That time when you say I wish I had more time so I could get started on that big project?

By having a planned 20-minute task list, you can now fill that white space with actions that will move you closer to your goals. Before you know it… you will have achieved your goals with NO EFFORT!

Why is it that some people have everything they want and others are struggling just to keep up? If you aren’t achieving your goals in life, if you aren’t living the life you always wanted – You may simply need to rethink how you spend your time. Personally, I’ve discovered that the 20-minute task list absolutely helps me achieve all of my goals… and then some.

In fact, the first year I used this method, I had achieved all my annual goals by April. Hmmm… Time to set some bigger goals!

All the things you leave undone, ignore or tolerate, actually drain your energy and sap your creativity. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. And tolerating or accepting them doesn’t lessen the negative impact they have on you.

Make a list of the ‘noise’ in your life…everything you can think of that would make you feel better if it were taken care of or dealt with permanently. Organize your list into 4 major categories;

  1. Physical Environment (examples: personal papers filed neatly, plants being fed and watered, clothes all ironed, adequate lighting, car in good repair, appliances working),
  2. Relationships (examples: let go of old relationships, caught up with letters and phone calls, nothing ‘unsaid’ in current relationship, always tell the truth, spoken to parents recently),
  3. Financial (examples: pay bills in-full and on-time, no credit card debt, save 10% of income, live within your means, up-to-date will and insurance),
  4. Health/Well-Being (examples: exercise regularly, don’t smoke, make healthy food choices, meditate daily, take vacations, think positively).

Make this list as long as you like. Once you have your list, commit to deal permanently with at least one item per week. As you quiet the ‘noise’, you’ll have more natural energy and vitality. Create some space for your new life to grow and take shape in. And please… Don’t suffer with this…. make a game of it and have FUN!

If you want to be successful, heed advice from people who have already done what you want to do.

If you want to make a million dollars in the real estate market, ask advice from a real estate millionaire. (Why would you ask advice from your brother-in-law whose only experience in real estate is paying off the mortgage of the house he’s currently living in?)
Associate with people who shoot a lower golf score, or have a more profitable investment portfolio, or have made a million dollars in real estate, or who do anything that you want to do better than you currently do it.

You’ll learn what they know by listening to what they say and watching what they do. You’ll improve yourself if you take action on what you learn.

How much time do you spend on YOU every day? 

Do you exercise regularly? Do you meditate, pray, or make time to sit quietly and think? A long, hot shower or bath can be a time to relax and let your thoughts wander. You could read personal development books or listen to motivational tapes.  Many people keep a daily journal that helps them “think” things through.

The military has been your life for so many years that when you leave it you will miss it, in spite of yourself. You will experience a sort of grieving process.

Spending a few minutes daily with activities that nourish your spirit and feed your soul will help you through the emotional stress of transition.  Start a habit of taking time every day just for YOU.  You’ll be healthier and happier for it!

Recommended Reading List

* The Verbal Advantage, Vols. 1-5 Audio Renaissance, by Charles Harrington Elster

* Who Moved My Cheese?, by Spencer Johnson

* Listening: The Forgotten Skill: A Self-Teaching Guide, by Madelyn Burley-Allen

* The Psychology of Winning: Ten Qualities of a Total Winner, by Denis E. Waitley

* Voice Power, by Renee Grant-Williams

* Loving What Is, by Byron Katie

* I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was, by Barbara Sher

* The Power of Focus, by Jack Canfield

* Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

* The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren

* Taming Your Gremlin (Revised Edition): A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way, by Rick Carson

* Moving Providence: A Formula for Creating an Extraordinary Life, by Jann Taber

About Me

Military Transition

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