Once you make the decision to retire, the first thing you should do is tell your family.  It may not come as a surprise to them, but they will be just as nervous about facing the unknown as you are.  So face it together.

Until now, discussions about retirement have been held over after-dinner coffee or driving through the mountains on your way to the next assignment.  From now on discussions will take on a more serious tone….. This time it’s for real.   So before you go any further, get everyone in your family involved.

Schedule a family meeting night this week.  Put all the cards on the table.  Really listen to and understand everyone’s thoughts and concerns.  The military has been as much a part of their lives as it has been yours.  Talk with close family members who aren’t living with you also, like grown children, in-laws, parents, or siblings.

If you’re single, call your parents or siblings or best friend.  Let them know your plan and discuss it with them.  Listen to them as they share their thoughts and perspectives.  They have insight you may not be aware of!

If your retirement is involuntary, the first step must be to accept the situation. Like it or not, a decision has been made for you.  Refusing to accept it or becoming bitter, angry and resentful only hurts you, drains your energy, and makes it more difficult for you to navigate through your transition.

Start getting used to the idea of no longer being in the military.  Share your fears and concerns, hopes and dreams with each other.  Try to have some fun with this and discuss what you might want to do and where you might want to live.  You can go anywhere you like, so dream about different places and why you would want to live there.  No final decisions need to be made at this point.  Simply allow yourself the space to ease into a new, expanded way of thinking.

Don’t underestimate the emotions tied to this.  This first step is crucial to a stress-free transition.  Getting your family involved now will assure their support in the months ahead when you’ll need it most.

This is part of a complete step-by-step military retirement checklist. I’ll be posting weekly action steps here, so please subscribe over in the right-hand column so you’re sure to get each update.