Once you make the decision to retire, the first thing you should do is tell your family.  It may not come as a surprise to them, but they will be just as nervous about facing the unknown as you are.  So face it together.

Until now, discussions about retirement have been held over after-dinner coffee or driving through the mountains on your way to the next assignment.  From now on discussions will take on a more serious tone….. This time it’s for real.   So before you go any further, get everyone in your family involved.

Schedule a family meeting night this week.  Put all the cards on the table.  Really listen to and understand everyone’s thoughts and concerns.  The military has been as much a part of their lives as it has been yours.  Talk with close family members who aren’t living with you also, like grown children, in-laws, parents, or siblings.

If you’re single, call your parents or siblings or best friend.  Let them know your plan and discuss it with them.  Listen to them as they share their thoughts and perspectives.  They have insight you may not be aware of!

If your retirement is involuntary, the first step must be to accept the situation. Like it or not, a decision has been made for you.  Refusing to accept it or becoming bitter, angry and resentful only hurts you, drains your energy, and makes it more difficult for you to navigate through your transition.

Start getting used to the idea of no longer being in the military.  Share your fears and concerns, hopes and dreams with each other.  Try to have some fun with this and discuss what you might want to do and where you might want to live.  You can go anywhere you like, so dream about different places and why you would want to live there.  No final decisions need to be made at this point.  Simply allow yourself the space to ease into a new, expanded way of thinking.

Don’t underestimate the emotions tied to this.  This first step is crucial to a stress-free transition.  Getting your family involved now will assure their support in the months ahead when you’ll need it most.

This is part of a complete step-by-step military retirement checklist. I’ll be posting weekly action steps here, so please subscribe over in the right-hand column so you’re sure to get each update.

When I decided to retire after 26 years in the Navy, I found myself overwhelmed by two things:

1.  Too much information on how to make a military transition, and
2.  Not enough information on how to make the transition into military retirement.

One, there is an abundance of information and resources available for folks retiring from the military and entering civilian life.  You can find advice on how to clarify your skills and talents, write a resume, survive an interview, and network like a pro.  The Transition Assistance Program (TAP) coordinators make every effort to provide valuable information on what you need to do and what your timeline should be to do it in.  There are self-help and career transition books, career and personality assessments, headhunters, and hundreds of websites loaded with information.

While this is all very valuable, I discovered I didn’t know where to start and couldn’t find anyone to tell me.  Some would say “Start with your resume”.  Okay, but I don’t know what I want to do.  Others would suggest I take some personality assessments.  I did.  And discovered that I was perfectly suited to do what I was doing in the military.  So why wasn’t I happy doing it anymore?  Did I really want to pursue my second career in the same field?  (By the way, you can take these assessments at different times in your life and get different answers.)

Which brings me to number two, not enough information on how to make a military transition. I felt like I was sitting in the middle of a large pile of jigsaw puzzle pieces.  I had numerous skills, tons of experience and an abundance of enthusiasm.  I needed help putting it all together and making sense of it.  All I needed was the first few edge pieces of my puzzle to fit together and the rest of the picture would fall into place.

I realized that the first piece missing from the puzzle of information was a checklist. My military training had taught me to always read the book, look at the manual, use the step-by-step checklist.  Don’t rely on your memory or try to reinvent the wheel.  People got hurt and equipment was damaged when we did that!

I’m not trying to reinvent the transition process here.  There’s really no new information.  Rather, I offer you the missing piece.

I’m offering you the step-by-step checklist so you don’t miss anything.

(I’ll be posting weekly action steps here, so please subscribe over in the right-hand column so you’re sure to get each update.)

Panic, doubt and fear all stem from a lack of knowledge, the unknown.  Not knowing what to do, what will happen next or even how to begin.  I have combined everything you have to do for the Navy before you retire with the personal things you want to think about and explore before you actually leave.

My desire is to help you find the edge pieces to start putting together your own puzzle. What I wish for you is to have an effortless transition, to enjoy the process, and to create a civilian lifestyle that brings you constant joy and deep satisfaction.  God bless you on your journey.

Recommended Reading List

* Military Resumes and Cover Letters, by Carl Savino and Ronald Krannich

* Jobs and The Military Spouse, 2nd Edition, by Janet I. Farley

* Retiring From Military Service, by K. C. Jacobsen

* Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide, by Janet I. Farley